The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
