Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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