just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
