My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
