Your tits are I can't wait for
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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