so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
