My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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