did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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