I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
