well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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