32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
