just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
