Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
