I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
