why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
