Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if only i could text you this smell
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
