Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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