Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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