I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
