And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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