We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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