i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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