You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize