And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
