dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
