i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
