I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
