We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
party gras won. party gras always wins.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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