i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
