Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
