This girl is more easily done than said...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize