Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
