Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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