thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
