You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
