Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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