It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
