I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
