i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
