So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
