Just cropdusted the office
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
