I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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