One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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