apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
