i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
