Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I pour the whiskey from now on
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
