so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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