She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
