on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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