He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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