Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize