I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
