Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
