Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
