just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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